4/2/09

O N M Y M I N D

I'm listening to KMFDM's "Looking for Strange" and "Megalomaniac" on youtube and eating olives as my Thursday night slips into your Thursday morning.

There is nothing I rather think about at this moment other than how many North Korean bucketheads I want to kill. Cool.

I have to open the window to let all the smoke out of the room, but quickly shut it because the Yellow Sand blowover from China irritates my sinuses. My apartment is a renovated hospital. Below me is the Alcohol and Drug Control Office. :)

My mother sends me emails and I delete them without reading no matter how many !!!'s she tacks on. I do not care. Mah, you can fuck off. I divorced myself from all problems pertaining to U.S. of A. mainland some time ago.

I feel alone and naked without my M-4 or M-9 locked in the armory. When I carry them I feel happy and fulfilled. There is only the need in my life for bigger guns and the distance it creates between me and other people, though I need people to feel the rush.

Working 15 hour days allows for only so much. Sometimes I wish there was only 15 hours a day so I wouldn't miss the other 9. I begin to understand why people drink themselves into comatose immediately upon the closing of business. I could go on forever. I get very tired of relaxation and the trip it puts me through.

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